On Marriage

On this particular Saturday night, he made me leave the house. I didn’t want to. I was tired from an afternoon at the pool with a bunch of 9-12 year old boys, all I wanted to do was watch TV in bed and eat leftovers but he insisted.

He had found a green restaurant that had the best kale, spinach and quinoa salad I’ve ever had and wanted me to try it. I had been saying there were no restaurants that would have any detox friendly meals.(how would I know🤷🏾‍♀️) But this guy, he had done his research and insisted I leave the house and go out with him, just us, he prodded.

•Now that’s my kind of love story. No big gestures here, the little things, the simple things, when he actually pays attention AND eats a whole meatless meal with me to be supportive of my detox? I can be complex and difficult to read, but he tries to be patient and he makes an effort to be supportive of whatever I have going on at the time. It’s so easy to lose sight of the good if one only looks for faults in their partner. Look, no marriage is perfect, no one is perfect, we are all imperfect beings and we all have weaknesses and habits that can irk the other. No one goes into marriage thinking it will be hard, we hear people say that it’s hard work but we tell ourselves, I’ll be and do better, I’ll make it easy, but then reality kicks in. Real life problems come, you discover things about your partner you don’t like and you ask yourself: “ how on earth did I not see this side or this trait when we were dating?” He is probably asking himself the same question! You start to think you might have made a mistake, you shudder at the thought…but there’s hope.

•Marriage is not about the fancy vacations and expensive restaurants. That’s all nice, but if your man pays attention and does the little things that seem like nothing but mean a lot to you, he’s a keeper. The small gestures are the ones that are thought out and mean a lot more than the grand gestures that are usually for show.

•Marriage is hard work and mine is not exempt from the hard work. God knows I don’t have the perfect marriage, but my prayer over the years has shifted to: “God please help me to see and magnify the good in my marriage and to not focus on all the things that I think should be a certain way. Help me to be a spouse that builds up my partner, not one that tears him down. Help me to be the helper that he needs me to be.”

Titus 2:3-4 “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children…”

2 thoughts on “On Marriage

  1. You are right on. Marriage is not something that just happens. It takes effort from both sides. When you really know your spouse you learn what the little things that matter are. When you get married you make that commitment to become one. Nice job Trudy.

    Liked by 1 person

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